AURA: On Writing as Resistance — A Conversation with Hillary Leftwich
Jason Masino
Hillary Leftwich (she/her) is the author of Ghosts Are Just Strangers Who Know How to Knock (Agape Editions, 2023, 2nd edition) and Aura (Future Tense Books and Blackstone Audio Publishing, 2022). She owns Alchemy Author Services and Writing Workshop and teaches writing at several universities and colleges, along with Lighthouse Writers, a local nonprofit for adults and youth. She focuses her writing on class struggle, single motherhood, trauma, mental illness, the supernatural, ritual, and the impact of neurological disease. On the outskirts of the writing world, she is also a professional Tarot and Bones reader and teaches Tarot and Tarot writing workshops focusing on strengthening divination abilities and writing.
Hillary Leftwich
Within the pages of her memoir Aura, Leftwich fearlessly confronts a spectrum of topics and themes, ranging from the mystique of witchcraft to the intricate nuances of womanhood, motherhood, and the harsh reality of violence. With a narrative that spans from her poignant childhood to the challenges of adulthood, she intimately shares the traumas she and her son endured, all the while weaving a narrative thread of resilience and unwavering hope for a brighter future. Leftwich's candid storytelling invites readers on a profound journey through the complexities of life, leaving a permanent mark that transcends the pages of her book.
I had the privilege of meeting Hillary a few years ago, as a fellow alum of the Regis University Mile High MFA Program, and have been an avid fan of her work ever since. This particular book moved me deeply, prompting me to sit down with her and explore its nuances.
Jason Masino: Aura blends elements of memoir, spell book, and exploration of power and spirituality. Can you share more about your decision to approach your life story in this unique way? How did the combination of genres and themes come about?
Hillary Leftwich: Originally, Aura was a collection of prose poems about and dedicated to my son. But after sending them off to a publisher, the suggestion was made to turn it into a memoir. I’ve never been a fan of traditional memoirs, so I sat on that advice for about a year. It was only after reading Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous that I thought, if I was going to write a memoir, it had to be addressed to my son, and it had to go against the traditional norm if it was going to work.
The combination of genres and themes came organically as my publisher, Kevin Sampsell from Future Tense Books, gently advised me that I needed to add a lot more about my childhood and other major factors that acted as the root for the memoir surrounding my son and our domestic violence situation. I wanted to make it appear and act like both a spellbook, because it was and still is a huge part of my life, as well as a baby book to show that words are vulnerable, but there is always an added element to words that help connect the aesthetic for the reader.
JM: Many of the book’s themes include the impact of patriarchy on your life and your exploration of witchcraft, womanhood, and motherhood. How did these shape the narrative of Aura, and what challenges did you face in addressing such personal and sensitive topics?
HL: The issues my son and I faced while formulating our plan of action to leave, were often hindered by systems that were started and still governed by patriarchy. Police, women’s shelters, neighbors, society. All of these impacted what could have been and what should have been a much easier route to navigate when it comes to protecting women and those who are at risk for violence and murder due to intimate partner violence or domestic violence. Writing isn’t about coming up with some fresh, new idea. Sometimes it’s about lending your voice to an experience where others can relate and connect and not feel alone. Abuse is often about isolating victims and survivors.
The challenges I faced were mental health issues. It took a long time to write certain areas of the memoir, and they all took a toll on my mental health. Those moments were something I have tried for years to forget, but you can’t outrun your past (so the saying goes), especially when you’re a writer. At some point you want to write about those memories and experiences, but they can take a huge hit on your mental state. I had to see a therapist to ensure I was advocating for myself and my own health and be proactive about allowing myself breaks and downtime.
JM: The use of letters, spells, and memories is described as creating a complex tapestry in Aura. Can you elaborate on how you chose these specific forms of expression and how they contribute to the overall narrative and emotional resonance of your memoir?
HL: I wanted to include mediums that allowed for sensory details that are typically abandoned in traditional memoirs. The letters from my attorney, the spells used during the time, and memories all have a voice and character within the memoir and are just as important as the other elements.
JM: This book hooked me mainly because I endured abuse in a relationship and could relate, but also because of its almost supernatural quality. How did you navigate the balance between personal storytelling and creating a work that resonates universally? Were there specific moments or aspects of your life that you found particularly challenging to share?
HL: That’s a difficult and resonating question. As you stated, Aura connected with you because of your own personal experience, and that’s what I was hoping to create when writing it. Someone once said, “Write what you know.” What I know is a combination of experiences, reactions, and survival modes that kept me running for years, even long after the threats of harm had been alleviated. What I know now, especially working within the state for many years, is that the systems in place to help people are really mirrors into a failed system of government and state-run programs that have no money and are low priority when it comes to supporting those who need help. What I learned was that some people will listen and others will refuse. Oftentimes, there is a lot of guilt associated with needing help, and we ignore what we see in others who need help because we fear the same thing for ourselves.
Sharing anything of a personal nature is difficult because we fear how we will come across to others. I believe we have all been in situations where we are just doing our best to survive, and we make decisions that in hindsight could have been better. But with violence and abuse there is only time for reaction, not reasoning, and because of this, I understand the judgement that can happen as a result. But for those of us who have experienced abuse, we also know it’s easier to judge someone than to try to empathize with them. This is what makes situations so hard in our society — a collective empathy.
JM: Can you discuss the role of resistance in your memoir and how it influenced your writing process? Despite so many misfortunes falling on you and your family, I could not help but see you as a beacon of light, hope, and strength.
HL: For someone who has experienced any kind of abuse, whether it be sexual assault or intimate partner violence or domestic violence, there comes a point where you understand you only have a few options, and none of them is good. For me, resistance became a weapon that I could use to not only advocate for myself, but for my son as well. Silence and isolation in abusive relationships reverberate beyond the relationship. Finding strength and awareness in my voice and choosing to use my words specifically to write about these situations is important to me. It’s always been my belief that writing is a political act, an act of resistance, however we decide to use our words to do so. Our writing should absolutely reflect society and our environments as an act of resistance.
JM: In contrast to your other literary pieces, encompassing a spectrum of books and poems, what specific message or insight do you hope readers will carry with them after reading Aura?
HL: A mother’s love can never, ever be destroyed. And if you love someone beyond what can be fathomed in this life, it will always be enough.
