Where We Hid Her

Nicole Mayeux

In the third year of Hoshea son of Elah king of Israel, Hezekiah son of Ahaz king of
Judah began to reign...He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, just as his father
David had done. He removed the high places, smashed the sacred stones and cut down
the Asherah poles. - 2 Kings 18:3-4

in our underwear drawer, behind the period-stained panties. behind the loose brick
in the fireplace. under the olive tree in the east field, marked only by memory. sewn
into the hem of our apron. between the joinery of the pig trough, and we hope she
forgives us.

taped to the ceiling beam. sewn into the stomach of our daughter’s doll. between the
largest and second largest mixing bowls. in our grandmother’s bridal chest. in our
vaginas, wrapped in linen. in the hollowed-out leg of the birthing stool.

and when it is time to pack up and move with the flocks
she comes with us in the secret places
even in the dirt under our fingernails when we can’t find her in the east field
even in the splinters she leaves when our husbands,
worse sometimes, our daughters
rip her from our hands.

Nikki Mayeux is a queer ex-Evangelical writer and educator from the strangest city in the Deep South, New Orleans. She completed her MFA in Creative Writing at the University of New Orleans and works in special education advocacy. She also performs public storytelling and produces SANCTUARY, a performance series uplifting stories of religious trauma and deconstruction. Her work has been featured in Infection House, Dinner Bell, Room 220, Ginger Zine, and elsewhere. Her debut chapbook, Ordinary Time, is available from Tilted House.